Not every loss is a loss. Some losses are gains.

One of my past fears and biggest struggles was losing someone I loved – a separation from a close friend or loved one. Especially a separation that wasn’t amicable. Because of this fear, I tolerated the intolerable from those closest to me. I hung on for dear life to others who expressed with actions that I was no more than glass or paper to them (I was disposable to them). Somewhere along the line, I developed the mindset of ‘those I would not hurt would not hurt me; if I am good to you, you will be good to me’. I strongly discourage this mindset it is as false as the notion that you should never give up. Sometimes we need to give up for our sanity’s sake, but that’s another post of itself.

It took being used and abused – being left for dead. Being treated like a used sanitary napkin. People doing things I’d never imagine them doing to me. Years of hurt from those closest to me. It took heartache and pain after heartache and pain for me to realize that losing disloyal, evil, malicious, selfish, inhumane, cruel, backbiting, backstabbing, hypocritical people is not a loss, but a HUGE GAIN.

Ridding myself of these kinds of people – opening the door for them to leave my life – is one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. I frequently buy myself gifts -.Valentine’s Day, Birthday, Christmas, Why-Not-You-Deserve-It Samantha Day gifts, etc., but none of those gifts are as good as ridding my life of emotional vampires and parasites.

It comes with HUGE GAINS – peace, joy, tranquility, emotional wellness, more time, positivity, clarity, a better relationship with one’s self, connection with kind and good-natured individuals, freedom, restoration, etc.

There is no-one I have identified I cannot live without. Of course, I am not saying I do not need people. I do. I’m not an island, and if I existed alone or if all those who love and care for me were to leave all at once, I would be devastated. I am saying my identity, existence and survival are not wrapped up with any one person, to the extent that if they were separated from me, I’d cease to exist or function. There is beauty in living in a world with over seven billion people, you cannot run out of people to connect with, share your life with, to love and or be loved by I’ve lost and gained enough relationships to know that people come and go and my source and reason for living should not come and go with them.

I implore you to give this serious consideration and analyze potential and current losses that are HUGE GAINS. We lose those who aren’t permanent fixtures in our lives, and even if they are/were, you do not cease to exist or function without them (they are not the breath of God, food or water).

The Past is not just the past

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